Warning:  A little graphic (makes my stomach queasy)

For the most part we are a healthy family. However there are times when we are not and this is one of those times. It's been a rough patch lately. I have to say that it is hard. Hard when the kids are sick, hard when the husband is sick and hard when I am sick while all the above are sick.  I look back and I think it's started on Christmas when Job injured his toe. He hobbled around and started to get better by the time school started. Which was good, the bad came the second day back when my phone buzzes me with a text asking me to come and get him. I arrive at school, pull him out of class and while I'm signing him out, he's puking in the garbage can. Kids are walking past him and watching the silently puking that was happening. Forever he will be known as the kid who got sick at school. Some things you can live down, but not others.  A couple of days later he's back at school, healthy except for his toe that still is giving him problems. The very next Tuesday he comes home from school and snuggles down under blankets and trying hard to focus on school work but can't.  He asked to go to bed around 8 pm so naturally I check his temperature at it's 104. Yike, no school for him. He lays in bed all the next day and Thursday as well.  On Thursday Isaac calls and comes home early from school and proceeds to lay on the couch all that day. Lona walks in around 3 pm and complains about a headache and goes straight to bed. That's three kids down. Friday morning Job begs to go to school, worried about grades but especially driver's ed. He makes it all day but slept in most of his classes, checking his temperature I realized that it was back up. Isaac and Lona haven't moved from their couches.  This continues through the weekend and by Sunday John isn't feeling good and I'm starting the sniffles. Monday morning Isaac comes downstairs complaining of blood dripping out of his ear. We bundle him up and take him to the Walk-in clinic right away that morning. The doctor looks at his ear and yep, he has an ear infection and a ruptured membrane.  Anti-biotics for the week and it will take some time to heal. He comes home and goes back to bed on the couch. Later that same day, Job takes the bandage off his toe to change it and it starts bleeding profusely again. I call the doctor and they send me to the Walk-in clinic. Once seen it is determined that it will heal better if the toe nail comes off because the toenail bed is raised up and swollen.  The old toenail hasn't fallen off and it's trying to grow a new one. Gross, oh by the way, can you check his ear too because when I looked at it at home, I thought it was infected. Yep, sure thing. The doctor wrote a prescription for him too then proceeded to remove Job's toenail. I held him while he got the shots but when it was time to have the nail removed, he sat up and watched the whole thing, taking pictures with my phone.  The doctor even gave him the toenail in a jar to take home! So boy, so gross.  We pretty much all sat on the couch or laid in bed the rest of the day, trying to recover for a new week.  John who was feeling pretty terrible got up in the morning to get both Job who was feeling better and Lona off to school. By 8 am she called me to come get her. Bringing her home, she quickly emailed her teachers, took her temperature (104) and bundled herself off to bed for the rest of the day. Isaac went to school, came home, worked a little and slept more.  We are off to a great start to the year which means it can only get better.

 “The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” 
― W.B. Yeats

 Lona's room used to be pink and yellow with a flower border between the two colors.  I designed that room when I found out that I was pregnant with a girl. I used a stick for a curtain rod and hung a valance of sheer white cloth with a flower garland that matched almost the border paper.  I used to sit in a rocking chair in that room and dream about having a girl. I had two boys at the time and my life was filled with Legos, trucks, balls and all things very much boy. I had all the little girl clothes ready to go. Thirteen years later and she really didn't want the pink and yellow. She was ready to change. It still was one of my favorite rooms but the border paper was starting to curl up, exactly what I should have expected with a girl after two boys. She is all girl and as tough as a boy on my house and maybe even with her brothers. So as her Christmas gift we told her we would redecorate her room. She chose the colors: Benjamin Moore Paul Revere Grey and Benjamin Moore Rockport Grey.  I thought it would be too dark for such a small room but she likes it.  I gave her a gift card for Hobby Lobby so she could chose what she wanted on the walls and not my choice. I'm hoping for it to reflect her tastes.  The one thing she didn't want to get rid of was her giant cardboard Tardis. The one thing she would like but we are saying no to is hardwood floors in her room. I would love to but there isn't a budget for it, so the carpet stays. Her loft bed was cut down to regular size and we moved the furniture around a couple of times to decide where she might want it.  It is like this for now but may change. The dresser was John's grandmother's dresser and there are some dings here and there but I painted it white and changed the knobs to black.  It feels rather empty right now but she is working on it and thinking about it and when we have time, we'll take a trip  to Hobby Lobby so she can use her gift card.

Fresh as new fallen snow. The year before me stretched out. Expectations are there, but what this year actually holds I have no idea. There are hopes, dreams, and wishes. Do I dare write them down? Do I voice them? Or do I keep them hidden in my heart to be only that, dreams and wishes. I don't want to make resolutions, I want to live intentionally but what questions do I ask myself, what direction do I go in? This last year was a milestone year for our kids. Senior year in high school for Isaac. Freshman year for Job and driver's ed. Public school for Lona and 8th grade. My first year of being at home alone. I thought I was going to take this year off to discover myself but I didn't, things just kept piling up and I took them on: youth group, teaching photography, taking photos and working on starting my own business. Do I take the plunge business wise? Do I look for a job?

Stepping out of the van, I breathed in and turned my face toward the sun. The air was cold on my lungs and I wrapped my scarf around my face to warm the air before breathing in. John and I filled our backpacks with food and our 10 essentials bag, then picked up our snowshoes, and poles, we walked over to the boundary of the ski area. We've been to Artist Point before, in the summer. We've skied at the resort during the winter. We've even hiked around Table Mountain but this was our first endeavor in the winter with snow shoes. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was excited. I had listened carefully to the lady who rented us our equipment so I placed the ball of my foot at the edge but not off the snowshoe and strapped in the heal first. Looking down at the ground, my sunglasses fogged up as I finished with the straps. Glancing around we started up the path, learning how the shoes worked. With in 15 minutes I shed a layer and then another and another. My mittens were in my pack as well as my outer jacket and my other one tied around my waist. I was sweating under my hat and where my backpack rested against my back. I was breathing hard and my calf muscles were burning. We came to a fork in the path and wondered which way to Artist Point. There were ski and boarding trails all along the ridges and into the valley. Voices carried and people were everywhere. I had envisioned that we would be alone on this trek but I was greatly mistaken with a fairly calm, windless yet sunny day, the mountain attracted the masses. We continued our hike until I begged for lunch. My internal clock is set for lunch between 11 and 12 even if I have breakfast at 8 am. Pulling out our sleeping pad we sat down to enjoy the view, the sun and food.  I just couldn't stop marveling and looking around at the area I was in. The snow glistened and sparkled. The blue sky stretched over mountains and valleys and the snow clad trees stood as silent sentinels along the pristine and untouched snow. I was in another world being powered by the sun, re-energizing my internal solar panels. Shouldering our packs we headed further into the wilderness with the top of artist point being our goal. We hiked and rested and I took photos and my calves burned with my lungs and we kept going. At the top of Artist Point we were greeted by a Camp Robber. He was daring, brave and probably hungry. He took apples out of John's hand. Our adventure didn't stop at the top, it was just a momentary distraction, a place to start. From there we wandered back towards the upper lodge, exploring side canyons, talking about our next foray into the white wilderness of our beautiful wilderness area.  I had no idea of the diversity of the "back country" of our ski area. It brought people out to snowshoe, the cross country ski, to downhill ski out of bounds and to create monster jumps enough to flip from. It was a world that I hope to explore again.

 The stockings are hung by the chimney with care in hopes that the teenagers will let me sleep in.  I can't remember how long ago I started using the stockings as entertainment while I slept in on Christmas morning. I put in things such as socks, gum, sometimes cereal, and candy. This year I found fuzzy lap blankets for each kid for $5.  I couldn't pass them up and when rolled they still fit in the stocking. Job and Lona made plans to wake early because they are still excited for Christmas morning. The rest of us really wanted to sleep in.  It was becoming a habit with John off work and the kids out of school.  However this Christmas held a different kind of morning for us.  I woke to hear the two early birds fighting, by the time I came downstairs Job was in tears and there was a pool of blood under his foot.  He had stubbed his toe so bad that he popped the nail out of the nail bed and through the skin. We cleaned and bandaged it as well as possible and he hobbled the rest of the day. With his foot elevated he read the Christmas story to us before opening presents and then played Xbox the rest of the day since his toe hurt so bad.  We ended up changing the dressing every couple of hours and the next day headed to the doctor to see if it was broken.  It wasn't but he needed to change the dressing everyday and keep a close eye on it to make sure it didn't get infected.  It will be a Christmas to remember that is for sure.

After many years of piano lessons it's time to say goodbye.  I'm having a hard time with it. I want so badly for my daughter to continue playing the piano. I want to hear the music float through the house. I love listening to her play and at times I'm a little envious of how easy it is for her. It's almost like a second language. If she put more effort in it she would be almost fluent but it isn't her passion, her dream.  It's an activity but nothing more. It was easier being homeschooled to keep up with piano. It was the first thing she did in the morning and it was part of her schedule, just like math or reading. But as with life, things change and part of that is moving on from homeschool to public school. Now it has been put on the back burner. She comes home and has a snack, starts on school work then goes to soccer practice. Piano is just not the first thing she does and it makes me sad. Sometimes it's Monday after school when she gets to practice, right before her lesson. It just isn't working anymore. She doesn't want to quit but isn't willing to put forth the effort to make time to practice.  I can't make her practice.  I can, but it isn't productive at all and leaves both of us discouraged.  So after tears from myself and maybe a little from her, it's time to say goodbye to this area of her life.

A couple of years ago I stumbled upon the fact that Bald Eagles congregate along the Nooksack River during salmon spawning season.  Lona and I made a couple of treks out there. This year I convinced our friends and the rest of the family to go with us. We drove up Mount Baker Highway to Mosquito Lake Road and pulled into the fishing access. I was excited and hopeful. The rain had been coming down hard and I really wanted to see the Eagles, not only for me but for the rest of the crew I had convinced to make the trek to the bridge.  We pulled into the fishing access and I knew by the line of cars that we wouldn't have a problem. The screeching from the eagles surrounded us as we stepped from our vans. I lifted up my eyes to see the white heads of the eagles lining the river bank downstream.  Turning up stream, I saw one on the otherside of the river tearing appart a salmon. We walked up to the bridge and scanned upstream. There they were, in the river, in the trees, all along the river bank. I felt giddy, like a little kid in a toy store. Everything I knew about photography flew out of my head. I couldn't remember which direction to turn to zoom in. I was sharing something special with family and friends. This place, these birds, together takes my breath away each time. I feel blessed to live in this part of the country. Where else can you drive for 45 minutes and see over a hundred bald eagles in the wild? Truly amazing.