It wasn't until tonight that I realized how important John as a Dad is to our kids, especially Lona. It's amazing how much she needs and wants his approval. After soccer practice, she came inside the house dripping wet and cold. She dropped her backpack on the floor and went to seek him out.
"Dad, are you proud of me?"
That statement hit me hard. I've always known that John has an important position but I guess that this statement really sums it up. She wasn't referring to soccer practice or school grades that came out today but to an event that happened first thing in the morning. This morning she was walking into school when she was approached by a boy and his friends. This young boy had a bouquet of roses for her. Valentine's day is coming up, there's a school dance, he's asked her out before, twice. Each time she's said no. She's just not interested in dating yet. She wants to have friends, and have fun with friends but she's not ready to date. I'm really good with that because neither John or I are ready for her to date. We think 8th grade is too young. I remember having crushes in 8th grade and a boyfriend in 9th grade but I really think I was too young then too. I would like her to wait and enjoy life before getting caught up in boys. I feel bad for the boy; my boys feel bad for the boy; John feels bad for the boy but we are encouraged that she had enough respect for herself and him to say no, to not feel the pressure of all of his friends with cameras, with the flowers that were purchased for her, to not lead him on or take advantage of him for buying the flowers. She was pulled out of class right after school started in order to talk to him. He was despondent. She apologized for hurting his feelings and told him that they could only be friends, her parents didn't allow her to date. However, he put her in that awkward position, manipulating her with flowers and friends and videoing cell phones. We have every reason to be proud of her actions. She's not going to be intimidated or coerced into doing something she doesn't want to do. May be walking away laughing nervously wasn't quite the correct response but saying no and walking away. Yes, please and do it again and again.