This was the winter that I looked forward to. I wanted the snow this winter, the cancelled school, the time at home with my family. This winter I craved baking, the smells from the oven, the not too sweet morning buns. But winter came and with it only a few days of snow and no cancellations. I baked anyway. I heated the milk, added the yeast and waited. I added the flour and spices. I opened the cardamon pods, released the seeds and ground them in my mortar and pestle.




 I added it to my flour mixture. It rose on the stove as I waited and cleaned. I prepared the filling of cinnamon and butter and a little sugar. I rolled out the dough, spread a layer of filling and rolled the dough over. I cut the strips and started twisting until these beautiful swirls came through. Brushing on the egg wash and adding pearl sugar, I let them rise again before baking The house filled with the scent of cinnamon and cardamom. I snuggled under a blanket with my coffee and book to enjoy the afternoon. Though there were no snowflakes that twisted, swirled and danced outside, inside I created my own.

I find myself...

A day of baking

It is over and it was a good run. Sometime JV wrestler, sometime Varsity wrestler but always a wrestler. 113 pounds, 5'8" and not an ounce of fat on that body. Strength against strength. There is only one to blame in losing and but a team to thank in winning. Without the team, there is no practicing, no standard to measure up to, no incentive to go to practice daily and to prove at practice that you are the best. The 5 am bus rides to meets that would last all day with maybe a match for him. The 3 minutes of intense work. It will always be a sport I admire but could never do. When watching I  would catch myself holding my breath, my heart pounded and I started to sweat, my body tensed as I watched him. My camera would allow me to distance myself from the event, to be able to watch objectively with out the emotions that wreak havoc within me. Thankful that he does this, happy that it is over, looking forward to the next year. It conflicts with me and yet the emotions align perfectly.

The excitement of Christmas has come and gone, routine has set in and the next crazy holiday is Easter but it's a ways away. I know that the days are starting to lengthen and the light doesn't disappear so fast however the grey skies of February still push down upon me. Creating a little bit of claustrophobia within my soul. I start to long for the bright sunshine glinting off of everything. My soul yearns for adventure, to getting out of these walls of schedules and to do lists. I want to break free of left out shoes, and dirty dishes. I need to experience something in February that inspires me to face my world of piles of laundry, pots needing to be scrubbed, sorting mail, disinfecting toilets and sinks and bathtubs. I need to refuel my solar cells. I need an adventure in the sun.

The snowshoes come down from the shelf and we load up a daypack with our 10 essentials, food, coffee, and water. The gear gets placed in the back seat of the truck and we head out of town to the mountain. I can feel my soul start to lighten around the edges. It isn't much, just a day outing but it is what I need. My husband driving. We share our concerns about kids, about life. We remain silent comfortably.  We reminisce about fun times with the kids and laugh about the memories. It is a reconnection that sometimes lack in a hectic schedule. Once at the SnoPark we strap our snowshoes to our pack since there isn't a lot of snow and talk a walk. After about 20 minutes it is clear that we need to go higher up to get that solar soul energy that I crave. There is the turn off to White Salmon trail higher up the road, before the turn to White Salmon Lodge.  Artist Point would be a good destination however I am needing a new destination. White Salmon is it. Again we strap the snowshoes to our back and we head out on the very well groomed trail. It becomes evident early on that we are not going to be using our snowshoes but the trail is nice with great views peaking out of the frosted trees. The sun shining, highlighting the needles, turning the grey in my soul to silver. I realize that God created my soul to long for light, His light. The needing to recharge my solar powered soul is his gift to reconnect with my husband, to stop the hectic hustle and enjoy the little things. Coffee still hot in a thermos, the visiting birds hoping for a cracker, the glints of light sparkling on the snow, a day with my friend.

Computer parts, screw drivers, anti-static wrist bands, plastic bags and boxes have taken over the project table.  Strapping on his wrist band, the man-child starts placing components into his tower case.  Directions in hand, he connects his wrist band to the light fixture since it is grounded. Pretty soon, another one joins the mix and now both are elbow deep in computer parts.