We've spent 18 years with this boy. This is what we've been preparing for. This move to adulthood. It isn't about moving out to live somewhere else. It is about the move from child to adult. It's about the end to parenting and the beginning of a relationship between adults. He has to make his own decisions, evaluate what works and doesn't work and make those changes.  I no longer can tell him those things. I can offer advice when asked for. I can pray. I can call to talk but the time for parenting is done. He needs this time to learn about being the adult in a way that living at home or even near home can never do. He needs to be able to chose his own path, not only long term but daily. I am on the sidelines and no longer an active player in his life.  It doesn't mean that we don't talk or that he doesn't need encouragement but it does mean that it is on his terms. Do I miss him? That is a loaded question. Of course. I miss the laughter around the house that he brings. I miss his insight into different situations. I miss his help and his encouragement. Yet there is another side to that coin.  I don't miss being treated as his staff. I don't miss the mess.  Those garbage bags, well its his clothes that lined his closet and his floor. He can take that mess with him to college and figure that "organization" skill out at school because for 16 of those 18 years, I've been trying to cram it down his throat. I don't miss empty milk jugs on the counter or the fact that I couldn't keep enough bread and cereal in the house. And I think that he might just miss something of home - probably the dog and unlimited access to food.

When the kids were little I cleaned the house by myself while having toddlers, which doesn't really work. By the time one room is dusted and vacuumed another room is trashed or they just come right behind you with a trail of toys.  Then they got older and were able to start helping, funny thing is it took me longer to clean with helpers than on my own.  I had to watch and teach and then check to make sure they accomplished the task correctly. That lasted years. Cleaning the house was just part of homeschooling.  Although looking back I think I should have hired it out and done more fun stuff with the kids instead of trying to be a great homeschooling mom, have a clean house, run errands, cook and do laundry.  There would always have been time to teach them later. Why did I think I had to do it all?  Having a clean house helps me think and I don't feel overwhelmed with work, if the house is clean.  However, I have no idea why I thought I needed to do it.  There are plenty of tasks that are hired out.  My advice to myself if I could do it again would be to hire a house cleaner if I was homeschooling and just plan a day at the library or field trip once a week.  Make memories not an overwhelming tower of expectation.  Fast forward to this year, I can finally have the kids help out and we can clean the whole house in about an hour!  I could have taught this summer time or as they were older and we would still be able to clean house in an hour today.

A missions trip came up this year. We really weren't sure about it but took the plunge and sent both Job and Lona.  Lona was originally the one invited but they were short kids and we volunteered Job to go as well.  It was with Emmanuel Bible Church's high school youth group:  IBC Recall.  I went to the meeting, gathered information, signed all the papers and went home to inform the kids what their mission's trip was going to be like.  The schedule was grueling: up and going by 6 am, activities such as painting and evangelizing all day, return for dinner, group gathering and bed by 11 pm. This was the pattern Tuesday through Friday.  It was daunting and there was a list of items to be had before they left.  They needed work pants and shirts and gloves.  We gathered supplies, clothes and money; packed them up and sent them off on a Sunday morning in a van full of kids and leaders. No phones, no internet, no connection to us until the following weekend.  I did text one of the leaders just to make sure all was OK.  We knew a little bit, they were staying in Oakland, California and that was about it.  It was all trust on our part, and adventure on theirs.  They were introduced to Inn and Out Burger.  Lona came home with a hat.  They stayed at a church with other kids from all over.  80 girls and 4 shower stalls without curtains.  That was remedied quickly. Kids were split into groups depending upon grades I think and sent off on work groups.  Job went with a leader, Gary and developed quite the relationship with him.  At one point, Job forgot his wallet when they went to dinner and Gary loaned him money.  He paid him back but paid too much.  When Gary returned home, he realized what Job did and sent him a letter.  Job read it and told me that the letter was "really neat and I'm going to save it in my room." To me that was impactful.   Lona had stories, stories about pink and blue mixing to purple.  The boys are blue, the girls are pink and there is no purple, but girls and boys still looked and flirted.  She is not into that.  Some days they arrived too late for dinner or they didn't get breakfast because they ran out of food but they loved it.  She said it was like being on an overseas mission trip.  There were bars on the windows, sirens and gunshots each night, drug deals across the street but they both loved it and want kids from our youth group to experience the same thing. The way home was an adventure as well.  They ran across the Golden Gate Bridge and hung out in Walgreens trying on little shirts for 2 hours while the flat tire was being fixed.  There were negatives but they all sounded like it was positive for them.  It was part of the adventure.

 We thought we were going to sell our boat.  We no longer have Fridays to enjoy on the lake since John works 5 days a week instead of 4 days a week.  We've lost a whole day.  Then there is the maintenance on the boat which is usually more time then we spend all summer on the lake. However this year, we pulled it out of storage and it started right up so the logical thing to do was take it to the lake and see how it did in the water.  Better than it ever has done before. The kids got on the tube and of course had a blast. The only two things we need to overcome now is the time factor and weather.  When can we get out on the water? With tournaments on weekends and Isaac heading off to school soon, there isn't much time. After John gets off work, occosionally it's possible. The weather also has to cooperate.  So far this year we've had super hot weather in May. Then June and July, I've been wearing a sweater because I'm cold except between the hours of 11:00 and 2:00 pm. Those hours I roast but all the other times, I'm cold.

There is a moment in every parent's life when they have to let go. It's hard but exciting as well. That moment when the kid learns to fly and leaves the nest. This was only for 5 days but even then it was ... well it just was. He was on his way to WSU for Alive Orientation and then work in Seattle.  I wanted to go with him just to experience the excitement of college with him, to get ideas for his room, to meet other parents and to go on a road with him. But instead I watched him pack his car and leave the neighborhood. I knew that I would receive an occasional text and not one phone call.  John expected more. We received a text from him in his dorm room.  It was similar to the one he is going to be living in. Upon arriving home, he was ecstatic about the fall.  He has his classes, he's seen his room mate, but not met him. He's made some friends and connected with them on Facebook. I'm starting to shop for the necessities such as sheets, towels, laundry detergent, body wash and deodorant.  I also have air freshener on the list.  I am excited for him. I just can't believe that it's happening. I recently went to a baby shower and the gal received some books that immediately flashed me back to sitting in Isaac's bed reading those very same books to him as a toddler. It really does pass fast. I'm ready and I know he is too.