Well, it has been a rocky start to the new year.  I have been a little bit fragile as of late. with symptoms of anger, severe depression for me, sleepiness, not motivated to pick up my camera and wanting to smash it instead, not wanting to get out of bed let alone be with my family, and crying all the time.  I couldn't understand why I was like this and why I couldn't just be me.  I knew there was something wrong but just didn't have the motivation to get up and search for an answer. I finally did some searching on the internet because I was pushed to and may suffer from SAD, (seasonal affective disorder).  Now, I am not usually one to self diagnose but it has gotten worse over the years with each Christmas and New Years. This was the worse it has ever been. John pushed me to look for answers and then called while at work and begged me to go tan, using the excuse that we are going to Maui.  I couldn't talk to the kids that day, but managed to make an appointment at our local tanning salon.  Then right afterwards a friend texted saying she was at a coffee shop by herself so I quickly went.  These two things helped tremendously along with taking extra vitamin D.   Costco has a HappyLight in the supplements and I'm also trying that out since it is one of the suggested remedies.  John and I have been talking about it and we realize that I need to be out of the house especially during the winter months.  I also need sun.  So the kids are being patient and giving me grace.  They are tender-hearted when I can't be and freely forgive me when I  have a hard time forgiving myself.  John has been understanding and helpful and really my lifeline while I work through this.  So 2014 is under construction and hopefully will see a happier year than the start.