Christmas is past and its time to look back on the year.  It's time to take stock on those resolutions that were made or not.  It's time to reevaluate the important things in my life.  It's time to see both the successes and the failures.  It is really time for me to be thankful for the blessings in my life.  I am blessed to have an understanding husband who loves me and is patient with me, even when I am depressed with no reason to be depressed.  He is the picture of kindness and shows concern for me when I am struggling and not treating him or the rest of the family nicely.  He racks his brain and goes out of his way to help even if I don't seem to want help, he knows that I need it.  I am humbled that after all I put him through, he still says that he is blessed to be married to me.  I am humbled, confused, grateful and totally in love with him.  I am blessed to have a 15 year old son.  There are many days that I want to ring his neck and yell at him but then he shares a little bit of his life and his struggles with me.  I see those bits as diamonds and am grateful that despite my yelling and getting in his space that he still wants to share himself with me.  I am blessed to have a 13 year old that is inquisitive, imaginative, and inventive.  I love his ideas and that he wants to share those ideas with me.  I love that he likes to try new things and isn't afraid of what other's think of him.  I love that he still needs the hugs in the mornings and reassurance at night after watching a scary movie like the Hobbit.  I am blessed to have a daughter that is relational.  She notices every new thing I purchase, she is thoughtful towards her friends and her family.  She needs to be encouraged when doing hard things that are out of her comfort zone and that I can encourage her.  I am blessed that we have this year of homeschooling together even though it's hard.  I am blessed to have friends who listen and understand.  They come over and don't leave even when I'm not nice and tell them to take my kids and go away.  I have friends who understand and lift me up when I become difficult.  I am blessed to have friends who willingly take my children and love on them.  I am blessed to have a mother who is one of my best friends.  She has listened and allowed us to take chances even if she doesn't always agree, she waits and then offers some advice quietly and respectfully; allowing us to have time to think about it.  There are so many other blessings but these are the most important to me because they model Christ to me in the very little things that they do especially when I am not so lovely, yet they show me love.  I am trying to be transparent and allow others in but its hard and hurts and is scary. I want to have this life of peace and beauty and don't want to share the ugliness but that isn't reality.  This last year has been overall one of many shared adventures with smiles but with the peaks of beauty has come the depths of ugliness.  I am looking forward to this new year knowing that again there will be peaks that are lovely and beautiful and full of joy and awe but there will also me these times that are the opposite.  I pray that I may help others in their depths like they have helped me in mine.  I pray that I have learned something about myself.  I pray that I may be a blessing to my family and friends like they have blessed me.

My gentleman husband, always willing to stretch forth  his hand to help me along