An Opportunity

I feel inadequate.  I feel uneducated. I feel unworthy. I feel like I'm not the correct choice. I feel that it is a huge responsibility. I feel that it's an opportunity that I don't want to casually dismiss or take lightly.  These feelings well up inside of me when I think of this group  of middle school girls in our youth group.  I am again working with them.  I can't say that I'm leading them, for I think that they are leading me more. I want to say that I'm coming along side of them, but I think they do the same with me. This year we are working through the Gospel of Mark. The theme: Follow the Son into Darkness.  I am excited to learn along side these girls in our study. In our last meeting we took 2 1/2 minutes to look through Chapter 1 and make observations, have questions, find something that jumps out at them. In that two and half minutes I heard questions that were amazing questions.  "Why did Jesus need to be baptized? Why did the Spirit drive (lead, impell) Jesus into the wilderness. What does "Make ready the way of the Lord, Make his paths straight" mean?"  These were questions I couldn't answer.  This was two and a half minutes! Who am I to think that I can lead middle school girls. My vision for them, my hope and prayer for them is to pray for each other, to mark up their bibles with thoughts, observations, even doodles that will help them understand the text, to have an excited and unwavering faith.  I have been looking for ways to strengthen this, to involve them in the text. I have had times of great prayer time, like when my uncle died and I went to his funeral.  The whole time there I prayed and prayed. When I ran a marathon, I prayed while running, I didn't have an iPod then. I would run for two hours at a time a couple times a week and my prayer life was outstanding!  I've had times of great bible study but again they were few are far between.  However I feel responsible more this year than last year and I am reading, praying and meditating.  I feel responsible for the girls when I tell them I will pray for them. I feel responsible to find the answers to their questions. I want to learn with them and strengthen my relationship as well. This has fueled my desire to learn more, to pray more. I am excited for the first time in a long time about reading the bible. I know that I will fall down, that I will fail, but I have not been perfected yet and will not be in this lifetime.

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